BRAWLERS UNITE!
by Turbanator00
Summary: Update: Chapter 4- Mario and Link find the most relaxing place to be- Bowser Spa! ;If you want to know the whole story... you know what to do!*cough* read it! *cough*
1. Chapter 1 Link Meets Mario

Chapter 1- Link Meets Mario

HIYA! Link said as he just destroyed a hairy monster that looked a little like bigfoot.

"Take that you beast!" Said Link as he picked up some of the rupees. "Yes, I'm only 4 rupees away from being able to buy that new heart container!" He said to himself.

He wandered a bit until he found another monster. This one looked more undead, but it could fly. He ran up to it and stabbed it.

"Aawwwwkkk!" Screeched the bird creature.

But as he was in mid-battle somebody came up.

"Umm... Pardon me Link but-"

"Shut up, I'm busy now!!" shouted Link. He took a couple more stabs, and then, got one right in the heart.

"BOOYAH!" said Link. He picked up 10 rupees, and walked over to the person. "Well, your a wee little man," he said.

"Yes, well..."

"Is your name Rumplestiltskin? Can you make me some gold out of hay?"

"My name is George, and I'm an elf-"

"I can see that you midget!" Said Link.

"Zelda's been kidnapped by Ganondorf!" Said George as he stormed off.

"This is seriously annoying... how does she always get kidnapped?" Link asked himself.

So, he started to walk back through the dense forest, back to town.

"Lalalalalala- ooof!" Link crashed into something- or somebody.

"Hey watch where your going- Wait a minute... are you that midget I met earlier, I already know Zelda was kidnapped, hey how'd you change into overalls and a red suit so fast? I thought your name was George or something, not... something that starts with an 'M.'

"I'm-a no George my name is-a Mario! A mama mia pasta pia!" Said Mario.

"Hehe, you have a funny accent... say toy boat 5 times." said Link.

"Toy-a Boat, Toy Boat-a, Toy-a Boat-a, Toy Boat-a, Toy-a Boat," Said Mario.

"Why do you say 'a' after everything?" said Link.

"It's part of-a my-a accent- Itallian," said Mario.

"Ok... so what are you doing out here?"

"Searching for-a Peach... ughh she-a always gets-a kidnapped!"

"I know, right? Zelda gets kidnapped so much. I'm getting sick of it." said Link.

"Hold on one second-a" said Mario.

Mario pulled a chocolate phone out of his pocket.

RingRingRing

"Hello?" said a soft voice.

"Umm a Peach I'm-a sending in a replacement-a I have some very important-a business I'm-a sure-a Luigi can handle Bowser-a." replied Mario.

"Jerk!" she said, and hung up.

RingRingRing

"What-a is it?" said somebody.

"I-a need you to-a save Peach,"

"Finally some-a action!" said Luigi, and he hung up. He was so excited that he left instantly.

"I'm-a covered." said Mario, walking back to Link.

"I've got no replacement though! What should I do?" said Link.

"Hmmm..."

"I could call my good friend Wario!" said Mario

"Okay!" replied Link.

RingRingRing

"Hello?" Said a gruffy voice.

"It's-a me a Mario!"

"Oh... you... what do you want this time?" said Wario.

"As a good friend of mine, can you go save-" Mario put the phone by his chest. "What's her name again?" he asked.

"Zelda," Relpied Link.

"Can you save Zelda?" said Mario.

"No..." said Wario.

"Why not?"

"I have no idea who the heck she is..."

"Fine." said Mario as he hung up.

"Ohhh, I know... I can get that fat mayor dude of that town in Twilight Princess... I forgot his name." said Link.

Link pulled a envy2 out of his pocket.

RingRingRing

"Hello?" said a deep voice.

"Yo, can you save Zelda? I have an... important meeting and I can't save her."

"Ummm... sure... where do I go?" said the mayor.

"I don't know, try Hyrule, call me back if nothings going on there." he said.

"Ok... bye..." said the mayor and he hung up.


	2. Chapter 2 Stuff and More

**CHAPTER 2- STUFF AND MORE**

"So, what do we do now?" asked Link.

"I don't-a know... unclog toilets?" said Mario.

"Ummmm... I'm not a plumber... but we can go back to town." said Link.

"Okay.." said Mario.

They headed off into the woods. They walked for about ten minutes, until they started to see something moving in the woods. Something fast.

"Ahhhh!" screamed Mario, which sounded very girly.

Vroooom! It shot by again. Finally it slowed down enough until they could notice that the thing was blue.

"Sonic? Is that you?" said Mario.

"Who wants to know?" said the blue person.

"Me, as in a-Mario."

"Oh, whaddup Mario." said Sonic, as he slowed to a stop.

"Hey, I remember you from Brawl!" said Link,"How come I don't remember you Mario?"

"Because you were-a the most unused character in-a brawl, so you rarely ever-a saw the other-a characters!" said Mario.

"That's not true! Ice Climbers and Olimar were the most unused!" said Link.

"Oh-a yeah... that's a true..." said Mario.

"Ok... quit arguing and let's go... I was trying to find all of the brawlers, there is supposed to be a meeting. Snake, Kirby, and King Dedede-"

"haha dedede that never gets old..." said Link.

"Anyway, those three are almost there."

"Well, there's 5 that won't be there for a while, Ganondorf, Zelda, Luigi, Peach... and... uh, Bawzer"

"Bowser!" Mario said to correct Link.

"Why?" said Sonic.

"Peach and Zelda got kidnapped" said Mario.

"Shouldn't you guys be rescuing them?"

"Nah, I sent some fat mayor guy to find Zelda, Mario here got Luigi. We could call them... the kidnapping might have to hold off." said Link.

"Oh... well who's rescuing Zelda?" said Sonic.

"The mayor of Ordon, man I cannot remember his name for some reason... I think it's just because he's not an important character in the game..." said Link.

"Ok... well Luigi and that one dude might have to cancel... you two can do it faster... so they can get to the meeting." said Sonic.

"Uggghhh... I'll just call them all I seriously don't-" he was cut short.

RingRingRing

"Uh, hello?" said Sonic, pulling out his phone.

"Yeah, umm, they meeting was canceled. It's rescheduled for like a couple weeks from now. I'll call you back, and the others in my fave five, then those people will tell the other brawlers..." said the person that sounded like Snake.

"Ok... see ya Snake." said Sonic.

"bye..." Snake said and hung up.

"Ok guys, the meeting was canceled... we gotta wait a few more weeks." said Sonic.

"Well what are we supposed to do now? We have no adventure to go on or anything." said Link.

"I don't-a know."

RingRingRing

Mario and Link's phones went off at the same time. Mario's caller ID said Bowser, and Link's phone said Ganondorf.

"Hello?" said Mario.

"Muhuhahaha I've captured Luigi also!" he said.

"Does this-a mean I have to-a save him?" said Mario.

"Don't forget to save Peach also!" said Bowser.

"So I don't a-save Luigi?" said Mario.

"Ughh, no you see-"

"Ohh so I don't-a save either of them and you a-rescue them?" said Mario.

"NO! You save both of them got it? Geez your wasting my minutes." said Bowser.

"So I save-a both of them-a?" asked Mario.

"YES! YES! YES!!" shouted Bowser. Then he hung up.

Meanwhile...

"Hello?" said Link.

"Whaddup." said Ganondorf.

"So what do you want?" asked Link.

"I've captured your little buddy... muhuhahaha! Ganondorf stated.

"Ok, so do I save him and Zelda?" said Link.

"Umm... duh, yeah!" Ganondorf said.

"Okay... I'll be over soon." said Link, and he hung up.

Link and Mario both shouted at the same time, "That idiot!"

Apparently there's more saving to do than normally, when they didn't want any at all. Bummer!


	3. Chapter 3 Hero Time

**CHAPTER 3- HERO TIME**

"So where do we start- wait a minute... Hero time? What a stupid name for a chapter, who writes this story? Anyway, where do we start?" said Link.

"I don't-a know!" said Mario.

"Well by now in one of our games or something I'd get a clue to find out where to go.

Just then Mario's phone went off.

"Hello?" said Mario.

"Hi it's me Luigi, Ganondorf and me- I mean bowser teamed up." said a gruffy voice.

"Oh ok... hey are you-a losing your-a voice?" said Mario.

"Oh, um, yeah I'm losing my voice... anyway I'm at Bowser's castle." he said.

They both hung up. "It's-a hero time! They're at Bowser's-a castle," said Mario, "By the way you owe-a me twenty bucks, I told you-a I could-a fit the name of the chapter in!" said Mario.

"Umm, will you accept checks? Who do I make it out to?" said Link.

"Mario..." said Mario, "Wait a minute... I don't-a accept rupees!" said Mario.

"Haha, sucks for you! That's all I got." said Link.

"Jerk!" said Mario.

They continued walking through the woods towards some random town called Happyville.

"Hey, in this place called Happyville, I heard there was some merchant with everything, his name was something like Tom Nook." said Link.

"Sounds-a like he's a little loopy-a" said Mario.

"No, no, no, that's Crazy Redd... not that I've been to Happyville before-" said Link embarrased, "Oh look we're here!"

"Mama mia patsa pia! That's a big-a store. Nookington's?" said Mario.

"Yeah, it's pretty big isn't it?" said Link.

"Yo Lil' L!" said a duck with the name Scooter.

"I told you it's Super L!" said Link in a half whisper voice.

"Whatever..." said the duck, then he walked off.

They walked towards the store.

"I guess we can stop here for a little bit, we've got time." said Link to Mario. They entered the store.

"Hello my name is Tom Nook! Welcome, look around!" said Tom Nook, a person that looked like a raccoon in a suit.

Mario walked into a room at the back of the store. There was a sign that says hair salon.

"I-a wonder what-a this is?" said Mario.

He sat in a chair with a big thing above it.

"Hello, what can I do for ya?" said a pink poodle with a Boston accent.

"I don't-a know." said Mario.

"Well..." said the pink poodle. Then she just went off asking all these stupid pointless questions like "Would you answer your phone if you were on your way to a hair salon or would you let it go and get there on time?" finally after 10 minuites of this... she stopped and the big thing fell on Mario's head (he did have to take his hat off before it came down.)

"Yahhh it's attacking me!!" screamed Mario.

Then blam! It came back up.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!!" said Link.

"What is it?" said Mario.

"You... you... hahaha!" said Link, attempting to stop laughing.

"Just look!" said Link, trying to hold back laughter. He got a mirror and showed him.

"I have-a blue-a mohawk?!" yelled Mario.

"Dontcha love it?" said the poodle.

"Ummmm... no!" said Mario.

"Oh well, that'll be 3,000 bells." said the poodle.

"What a scam-a! I don't-a even know-a what bells-a are!" said Mario.

"Aww... sucks for you... 3,000 bells." said the poodle.

"Forget it. Let's got Mario." said Link.

"Your not going anywhere." said the poodle, pulling out a thinning comb and a full bottle of hairspray. "Nobody's leaving until I get 3,000 bells." said the poodle, losing the accent and getting more serious.

"Yaahhhh!" screeched the poodle as it ran at Mario and Link.

"Take this green man!" said the poodle to Link, putting the thinning comb in Link's hair, and pulling it back real fast.

"Owwwwww!! My hair!!" yelled Link.

She jumped back and pulled out a lighter and her hairspray. She shot fire like a flamethrower and Mario's eyebrows were singed off.

"That's-a it... you can mess-a with my-a hair, you can kill me-a, but when you mess-a with the eyebrows you-a die!!" said Mario. He charged her and stabbed her legs with his mohawk.

"Owww! I'm crippled!" screamed the poodle.

To get her to shut up, they duct taped her mouth and tied her to a chair.

"This hurts us more than it hurts you." said Link, locking her in a dark closet.

Mario somehow combed his hair back to how it was, yet it was still blue, and he still had no eyebrows. He threw on his hat, and they walked out of the store.

"So-a much for-a the name Happyville" said Mario.


	4. Chapter 4 Relaxation in a way

**CHAPTER 4- RELAXATION... SORT OF**

"O-akay so we've-a got to go to-a Bowser's Castle, right?" said Mario.

Right when Link was about to respond, Mario tripped over something.

"Hey-a it's-a map!" said Mario, getting back up from his fall.

"Let's see what it says." said Link.

Describing the map in words: There was an X done in red paint, and next to it said "U r here" in very sloppy handwriting. There was a curly twisted dotted line going straight towards a smiley face. Next to the smiley face said "Bowser Spa, the place to relax on your long perilous journeys!"

"Bowser-a spa? Sounds-a suspicious!" said Mario.

"Oh your just being paranoid, look it says 'The best place to relax' the fat dude with the shell isn't the only person with the name Bowser." said Link.

"Who-a else would-a name their kid-a Bowser?" said Mario.

"Okay, that was a cheap shot, but who cares let's go." said Link.

They started wandering in all these loops and curves and finally came to a place.

"What-a is this? Looks-a more like a castle-a!" said Mario.

"No no, it's just a fancy setup, to attract more customers." said Link.

"Let's just hope-a there's no pink-a poodle hair stylists..." said Mario, lifting up his hat to reveal blue hair, and rubbing the area where eyebrows should be.

"Hehe," said Link.

They walked up to the door of the 'spa' and found a sign on the front door.

"Says... 'Com Chek out Bowser's spa, next 2 cuztomerz getz inn 4 free!'" Said Link.

"Yeah-a can't be Bowser-a, he's written me-a ransome notes-a before, not his handwriting-a" said Mario.

"Told you sooo!" said Link, sounding pretty childish.

They went up to the door and opened it. There was a person standing behind a counter that looked like bowser, only with a bad 80's hair, that litterally looked like strawberry icecream stacked up about 4 feet high.

"How may I help you?" said the person behind the counter... with a very deep voice for a girl.

"We just-" Mario was cut short.

"The pedicure/manicure combo package please!" said Link.

"Alrighty then! Muhuhahahaha!" said the person.

"What?" said Mario.

"Umm... I had a cough... follow me into the back room." said this odd person.

They went into the back room and the lights flicked on. There was a kiddie pool filled with something that had a little paper sign taped to it that said 'Mud Bath.' And there was a torn up chair that had some saws sitting next to it that said 'Pedicure/Manicure.'

"Looks good to me!" said Link. As he said this the dim light started to flicker a bit.

"What-a is going-a on?" said Mario.

"It's just some faulty wiring is all..." said the weird person, who is really good at coming up with excuses.

"Not-a just that-a... there is saws-a for the-a pedicure/a-manicure..." said Mario, about to leave.

"No, no, no those are just some high tech nail massager things!" said the person quickly.

"Works-a for me." said Mario.

"I call mud bath first! Said Link, pulling off his shirt, revealing a bikini and a hairy chest.

"That's just-a nasty..." said Mario to himself, trying to look away from links hairy chest.

Link was just about to step in the mud bath and Mario was about to get his jagged toenails 'trimmed.' Just then, Link pulled his foot away and said, "Before I get in I always need to rub lotion on my skin." He pulled out some lotion and started to rub it on himself.

"Oh lord that's foul!" shouted Mario, running off to barf in something.

Just as he was rubbing this lotion on himself, some fell into the mud bath. KABOOM! The mud shot everywhere.

"What's going on here?" shouted Link, "Is this explosive mud??"

"No, no, no, there is no such thing!" said the person, getting nervous.

"Yeah there is! I saw it on the Spy Channel once... I'm out of here! C'mon Mario lets go!" said Link.

Mario just got out of the bathroom with something green around his mouth.

"Coming," said Mario, feeling better that Link had put his clothes back on.

They were walking toward the door, when suddenly the person said, "Now Ganondorf!"

Quickly Link and Mario turned around. Ganondorf and Bowser were coming towards them. They noticed the pink wig on the ground and realized that Bowser was the weird person.

They turned back around and started running.

"Come back here you medling kids!" said Bowser.

"Why did we start running?" said Link in between breaths.

"Eh, it-a makes everything-a more dramatic-a, and it-a adds more words to-a the chapter-a. In the next-a chapter we'll probably like turn around-a and fight. It all depends-a on what the idiot-a, who decided to-a write this dumb-a story, chooses-a." said Mario, while I was running.

Bowser and Ganondorf were close behind and were getting closer.


End file.
